it's not that i haven't been paying attention....

but i have been lacking in the, you know, actual posting dept. what would that be? postage sounded right in my head but now...not so much. anyhoo, you should know i'm not as much a slacker as i seem. here's what i've been doing...

In A Few Thousand Words

Gotta have somethin' to show to the people, eh? Cause i sure as heck ain't directin' any strangers to this corner of the intergalactic net. But anyhoo - we should also have a web gallery. in which we can both post pictures for the other to download in full-sized glory, which, incidentally does give me a sense of resolution. so there, Alanis! put that in your pipe and scream at it... it occurs to me that this reference, if not explained, may feel ten or so years too late. but i assure you, i hear gems off of jagged little pill every day of my current, supposedly new-millenium existence.  some people. it's like you can take the girl outta the 90's, but you can't take the 90's out of her playlist. ("her" being my reference to the Goddess of alternative retail music. who could be a God for all i know.)

sigh. 

my,

i

miss thine. 

for mine,

though inclined

to unbind

my smile,

after a while

make the miles

seem like files

stacked in piles

that stretch higher

than any fire

they'd sire,

making dire

the choir

of "why"s

that belies

my wise

eyes,

chiding

hiding

abiding

Thoughts from today's walk

I was going to record them here, but I can't remember them with all the static in my head right now. I am participating in "online discussion group" for my interim class. Only about 30 minutes of discussion left, then I have to read the packet for next week because next week I'm the one facilitating. There are so many of these things right now that seem like hoops that I just can't wait to get through and be done with. So much of this seems like it wouldn't have to be done if the screening process for the intellect, sensitivity, and open-mindedness in the teaching field was better. Not that I have any suggestions worth mentioning.

Anyway...what was I thinking??

OH--that my new iPod (can't wait to tell you the name of it, but it's a verbal thing that wouldn't make much sense here) might actually be sensing my mood and might do that even better if I only ever play it in "shuffle" mode.

OH--and then I thought up a good stump for a story. My coworker, Marie, saw a woman standing on the "high bridge" in St. Paul the other week. She remembers wondering to herself what this chick was doing. She saw her throw a rock over the edge. She pondered the fact that the high bridge is a destination for suicide (well, the river below more than the bridge, really). She noted "people don't just stop on that bridge, especially in the winter...I mean, you see people walking over it in the summer, but..." The next day she read in the newspaper that a woman had committed suicide the day before. She doesn't know whether it was the woman she saw...or what she would have said as she drove by.

So I'm thinking as I walk up to another bridge over the Mississippi today--but what about weirdos like me who actually do stop on the bridge in the winter? Then I thought, wouldn't it be great to write a story that began with someone standing on a bridge wearing a t-shirt with the following printed across the back: "I am not going to jump. I just like to watch the river."

Love you.

Productive, but short-tempered

^that would be me description of myself today. The people who call me are being insane, but that could be because I stayed up until 2:30am cleaning the kitchen last night. That was okay mostly, though, because I had my new ipod nano to sing to me the whole time. I was a tad concerned that my temporary headphone-induced deafness might be causing me to be excessively loud and it occurred to me several times to take an ear bud out thinking I might be missing my downstairs neighbor rap, rap, rapping at the door to tell me to shut the hell up.

Much love. Will write more soon. Ncd and his mama arriving today after drive from Arizona. Neato. Pretty sure the 5 hours I spent chiseling pre-Christmas fudge mess from many kitchen surfaces obliterates any chance that I'll have the house (and thereby, my brain) in order before their arrival. Oh well, at least the refrigerator's so clean it's empty, right? Aaand that makes 2 paragraphs about cleaning...which makes me feel like a freak. Alright. Ciao for niao.